So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
