So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
