my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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