i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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