Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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