the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
