you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
