Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize