Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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