All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Betty ford says i'm here all night
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
