Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize