White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
