and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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