I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize