He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
