well I can't set my house on fire every night
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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