So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
