Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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