he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
this will be a night to untag.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
