I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
