She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
