so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
