New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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