the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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