sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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