he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
