You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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