Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
They should really pass out barf bags in church
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
