Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I see more hoeing in ur future
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