i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
