If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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