Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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