he wants to bone in the snuggie
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm determined to sit on that face.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
