please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
