He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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