38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We had to coat check the pizza.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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