i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You are a genius and a whore.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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