She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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