just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
