This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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