toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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