Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks

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(901): I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks http://tfl.nu/9z2d

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(919): View more from North Carolina

i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20

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(919): i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20 http://tfl.nu/xo20

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.

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(501): Turns out vomit takes off spray tan. http://tfl.nu/8hd7

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(425): View more from Washington

He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.

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(425): He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me. http://tfl.nu/6hfm

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(616): View more from Michigan

whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.

(231): View more from Michigan

i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.

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(616): whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook. (231): i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment. http://tfl.nu/fvdt

Replies (41) Good night (1895) Bad night (5295)
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(425): View more from Washington

I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?

(1-425): View more from Washington

you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time

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(425): I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I? (1-425): you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time http://tfl.nu/bm15

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.

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(843): I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter. http://tfl.nu/3aqn

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(519): View more from Ontario

Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule

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(519): Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule http://tfl.nu/w6uq

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(519): View more from Ontario

I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex

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(519): I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex http://tfl.nu/b3wh

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(845): View more from New York

Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.

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(845): Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good. http://tfl.nu/x11e

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.

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(612): I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket. http://tfl.nu/c7zs

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.

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(215): I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood. http://tfl.nu/t851

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(365): View more from

As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.

(1-365): View more from

I was judging you.

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(365): As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over. (1-365): I was judging you. http://tfl.nu/3tin

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(224): View more from Illinois

I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."

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(224): I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning." http://tfl.nu/k4en

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(208): View more from Idaho

Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere

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(208): Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere http://tfl.nu/5ite

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