shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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