I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize