let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
