Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
