She announced her abortion via fbk
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
