I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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