he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
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Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
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I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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