9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
