What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
