i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
