I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
