Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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