Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
