She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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