i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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