I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
