Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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