no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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