Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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