You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
