Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
