A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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