you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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