it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
