Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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