Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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