worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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