I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
